Another poem of mine - any comment/critique?

I accidently posted this under the wrong category - it should have been here.











Creole





O Woman, I look at your beauty


Your skin..... of ebony color


Moist with sweat, glittering much


Like silk, like velvet


Is to my masters touch.








I look at your body


The forms of your figure


So perfect, so fine....


Down to your hips


I see you all bare


I gaze and I mumble.....


I see you don't mind


My ill restrained trembling


My wondrous stare.








I look at your face


Your fine curved lips


And murmur your name....


Like Mother-of-Pearl


Unreal seems the shine


That fathomless shimmer


In your eyes


In the light


Of the flickering flame.








To the music you dance


Small beads of sweat


pearl down your face


For - the rhythm so throbbing


Had quickened its pace


You turn in closes circles


My senses are captured....


Ever so flowing


Your body is swaying


Moving with uttermost grace.








You woman, beautiful woman


Proud as you are....


You still are eluding


So innocent, simple


The way you do smile


The ring of your giggles


Like music your name.....


You really don't care


You do not feel shame.








But your expressions, gestures


I feel are conveying


Sweet secrets you


They tell without words


What cannot be told......


Your heart, ageless and free


It has touched my soul


I see - it is prone


I know it gave something


For not anymore


I feel so alone.








That night I was happy


One with the music


The Earth - your beautiful song


The fragrance of tropical flowers


The rhythmical stomping of feet


The heavy moist air


Vibrating to the drummers


All powerful beat.








From far off lands I came to you


A restless mind in youthful vigor


Woman of mysterious nature


That other part of mine......


To seek adventure, leave behind


The boredom, dead end routines


The fancy heaps of useless glitter!








One principle in pride pursued


The precious freedom I do treasure


Confronted by desire, pleasure....


I wonder how.... again is waning?


To share there is a price to pay -


And so is there for failing


Your woman's inborn magic art


Again this time it has subdued


Has overcome my shield and guard.








For untold lifetimes I am learning....


That painful search before and after


When passions rise from glowing embers


Then light up bright and die-off burning


Thus leaving puffs of hazy smoke


The cloudy nature of this yearning


That sting of sweet intoxication


Which.... flashy burst of wisdom hint


In moments of rare revelation


Between those states of sweetened weakness


Are nothing but the bitter fruit


Of falsified indoctrination


Created life...... imagination.








I suffered, learned, enriched my soul


Received what I could find


I found you on the way my friend


On which there is no end in time


.... In search of peace of mind.








O woman - knowing and so sure


As long as we are different


In body, mind (and) what drapes the soul


Unless we both are one


Against your charm there is no cure!








Sigi

Another poem of mine - any comment/critique?
Yes, I do prefer this one...except for (I am being negative again...), the last line! Which I think is a little clichéd, compared to what precedes ("what drapes the soul", which I really like).
Reply:That was awesome! Wonderful job! I loved it. Keep up the good work.
Reply:VERY descriptive
Reply:Wow, Sigi H, you're a perv.